Bullying- A Public Health Concern

Bullying is so often thought of as a youth problem. Nearly every school in the country has a written anti-bullying policy and there are literally thousands of school based anti-bullying programs. Kids as young as 10 are committing suicide from bullying and estimates are as high as 60 percent of middle school kids report being bullied. It is estimated that schools that put in anti-bullying programs have a 50% decrease in bullying, but that is still a lot of kids bullying, being bullied and witnessing bullying.

It doesn't really get any better when the child reaches college age. There are still bullies out there tormenting students as they try to learn. Some reports say that as many as 23% of students are bullied by peers and 18% report being bullied by a professor. Bullying can be physical, verbal, social (exclusion, etc), or sexual.  Cyber-bullying (those behaviors done online) and Hazing (bullying with the "consent" of the victim in order for the victim to gain admission into a group) also need to be mentioned.  Bullying is often done to someone perceived to be different from the bully- racially, socially, in dress, in economic status, differently abled, clothing style, and intellectually. Since no two people are alike, bullying can happen to anyone.

I would love to report that bullying stops when students finally graduate and enter the career field. But that is not true. Last July, Forbes magazine mentioned that nearly 75% of workers had been impacted by workplace bullies. Impacted does not mean actually bullied, they may have been the victim or may have witnessed the behavior. Women in the workplace are more likely to bully other women and in general carry an unconscious bias against women. Additionally, bosses, like professors, can often be the bully.

And in our recent political times, bullying happens right on the streets between total strangers. People are getting attacked for their head gear, their religious clothing, their perceived genetic history. Even our news organizations are beginning to look like bullies instead of simply reporting the facts of what happened. We need more of those trained by Walter Cronkite and his "That's is the way it is" wrap of of the news. Clearly all the anti-bullying classes are not helping a whole lot.

So there must be hope when one retires right? Move into one of those wonderful senior communities and live in peace with everyone else? Nope! Not at all. I have been teaching health literacy classes for seven years. One community asked me to create a class for senior on senior bullying, not elder abuse, not caregivers harassing their clients, but one senior picking on another! After creating it, it became my best selling class. Every senior community has scheduled it. I have had communities that never pay for programming for their residents pay to bring this class in. While only 10-20 percent of seniors report being bullied, that number is likely to be inaccurate due to health concerns and fears of reporting.

We must find ways to really get a handle on bullying. The power struggle and self-esteem the bully is aiming for when he attacks must be replaced by concern for each other and a attitude of win-win.  Why? Because it impacts health... the health of the bully, the health of the victim, and the health of the witnesses.

Bullies tend to have low self-esteem. They struggle with depression and anxiety. Bullies are 5 times more likely to become a criminal and 6 times more likely to end up in jail. Bullying is estimated to be a factor in 2/3's of school shootings.

Victims may not have started out with low self esteem, but being bullied can get them there quickly. Then they will struggled with depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Two out of every three victims becomes a bully to someone else. When as a society, we don't make an effort to protect the victims, they begin to adopt an understanding that this behavior is ok. Learned helplessness or aggressive, violent behavior can happen to victims. They begin to struggle with relationships. Especially if their friends witnessed the bullying and did not intervene to protect them. Drugs and alcohol may become their friends.

While we don't have a lot of research on the effects of witnessing bullying, we can look at the new studies on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) and Trauma for an idea of what happens when children witness violence. The Centers for Disease Control reports people exposed to "violence in childhood increases the risks of injury, future violence victimization and perpetration, substance abuse, sexually transmitted infections, delayed brain development, reproductive health problems, involvement in sex trafficking, non-communicable diseases, lower educational attainment, and limited employment opportunities.Chronic abuse may result in toxic stress and make victims more vulnerable to problems such as post-traumatic stress disorder, conduct disorder, and learning, attention, and memory difficulties." 

We must start to solve the problem of bullying. Teachers and staff cannot continue to suggest ignoring the bully. We must move to make the victim feel safe. We must put into place 0 tolerance policies that don't require the teacher to see the bully act. But we must also help the victims become bully-proof. And we need to empower witnesses to help.

Nick Vujicic, in his book Stand Strong, had six suggestions to make yourself bully-proof or at least bully-resistant.
1. Choose Your Path- know your personal spiritual values and stay true to them
2. Create Your Safety Zone- inner security and strength can help make you bully proof
             It’s a safe space in your head where you can go to get refreshment and ignore the bully
3. Build Your Backup- strong and supportive relationships
             Based on mutual respect, trust and encouragement
             Best way to have good friends is to be one
4. Defeat the Bully Inside You- don’t allow yourself to beat yourself up.
5. Rise Above- you can call the bully on their bad behavior. If they apologize, offer forgiveness
6. What if you could find ways to learn and grow from being bullied?

Have you been bullied? How did it impact you? Have you seen yourself becoming a bully yourself? Do you have a good idea on how to improve this situation?

References
https://www.trade-schools.net/articles/bullying-in-college.asp
http://stopbullyingnowfoundation.org/main/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/pragyaagarwaleurope/2018/07/29/workplace-bullying-here-is-why-we-need-to-talk-about-bullying-in-the-work-place/#40fb5c4c3259
https://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/exc_051513.shtml
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/fastfact.html
Nick Vujicic Stand Strong;You Can Overcome Bullying (and Other Stuff That Keeps You Down) Waterbrook Publishing 2014

OPWDD Disability ID Card. It Seems OK, BUT!

         In New York State "A new state law now makes identification cards available to people who have a medically diagnosed developmental disability. These new I/DD ID cards are meant to be presented to law enforcement, firefighters and emergency medical services personnel to aid in the communication process." This law was spearheaded by my assemblyman Angelo SantaBarbara, a man I have much respect for and the father of a child who qualifies for this card.

         The moment the card was available, online support groups for families with kids with developmental disabilities began sharing that the cards were available and many families ordered them for their loved ones. But I see potential issues with this and I want to ensure that no one is injured in the use of this card.

         The front of the card looks like this

         The back looks like this

           While in theory, this seems like a great idea, the first thing this little card reminds me of is the cards that were carried in the 70's and 80's by the deaf. Initially created to help the deaf community have an easier way to communicate with stores, modifications quickly were used for begging. And not long after that, people who weren't deaf also carried the cards and used them to ask for money. While I doubt the formal state cards would be used this way, forgers create fake money and it won't take long for them to create fake state ID cards if they can figure out a way to scam money from it.

          Next, I am concerned about how we teach our kids how to use these. In order to be disabled enough to need the card, would the child be able to learn how to use it appropriately? It seems to me that the vast majority of those with developmental disabilities who need the card would not understand it's use. A person who is non-verbal and agitated if touched may simply not be able to pull the card out and show it to someone.

          I am also concerned about all those people who have communication problems, are non-verbal or easily agitated and do not have a developmental disability. For instances, those with hearing loss, traumatic brain injuries or other health problems that are not a developmental disability. If our first responders are used to being offered the card, someone with similar behaviors may be treated poorly because they don't have the card.

          And what if they travel? If the person travels to another state and who is not in somewhat familiar surroundings be able to remember to use the card if they get separated from their loved ones while on vacation. I keep picturing the person separated from his family in Texas. Stores and buildings that aren't familiar. People who talk with an accent. Would the sensory overload make it too hard for them to remember to pull out the card?  And if they try to show the card will that state have first responders trained to accept the card and adjust their behavior appropriately?

         Finally, I am concerned about the first responders in New York who may not be trained to use the card. Our police are taught to tell people to put their hands up. If people reach for their pockets, they are assumed by the police to be carrying a weapon. How do we now retrain the police to assume a non-complaint, agitated person who is reaching for something in their pocket is reaching for this card and not a weapon? Honestly, I don't think we can. I believe that either a person with a dd will be killed reaching for the card, or a police officer will be killed assuming that they agitated person is reaching for a card and not a weapon.

         We have medic alert bracelets and necklaces that can be used to alert first responders to medical concerns of a person. We should be looking at using this proven method to alert for a developmental disability. The police already scan for them and it can be reinforced to do so more. They can be used for anyone who has a condition that would make their communication difficult. The deaf. Those with traumatic brain injuries. Mental illness. Diabetes. We could even create them with a "my original language is" note for immigrants.

       This idea wasn't well thought out. I am praying that no one is killed as a result. We can do better. Let's rethink this. I would love to hear your opinion. Especially if you are a family member or a first responder. And feel free to contact your senator or assemblyman or OPWDD with your concerns or support too!