Helping through a Health Emergency

 OK, This actually was drafted last February. The chaos of caring for two teen girls with serious illnesses knocked a lot of my plate last year and one of those things was blogging. But as 2017 roles around and I am getting a brand new lease on life, I am returning to writing. So I am adding this intro, and at the end, I am telling you about my year. But the advice I am writing here, I can still say is accurate. Especially the pjs. 

Last month, my 15 yr old daughter had emergency brain surgery to remove a cyst in her brain. 4 days ago, my 17year old one daughter had a nonfunctional gallbladder removed. Both of these events has led me to write this newest blog....Helping in a Health Emergency. 

1. Offer to pray...and do so. I cannot tell you how much prayer made a difference. In keeping me calm, in speeding recovery, in helping me stay upbeat. Prayer is so highly effective.

2. Respect family privacy. Ok, this doesn't apply to me at all. I posted on Facebook several times a day. I was probably the person that everyone thought shared too much info. But not everyone is me. Many families would prefer to go through these moments quietly. They may share when the journey is done, but not at the beginning. They may share only glimpses into their world. Respect that. Don't push for information. You are not going to get it and you may ruin a friendship over it.

3. When you make an offer to help, be specific. Can I bring you dinner tonight or tomorrow night? Can I stop and buy milk and laundry detergent for your house? Can I drive your other kids to school? The more specific you are about the offer for help, the more likely you are to get a positive response.
In my case, when people offered to make dinner my response was "my kids all cook and they often are working through dinner time, but if you would drop off nonperishables, fruits and vegetables, they would appreciate not having to go to the store." Please don't do the "let me know if I can help" line. I'm not likely to call even if  I realize I need help. 

4. Hospitals are expensive. Never mind the medical costs. Food in the cafeteria, parking, gasoline back and forth. Consider a gift card for gas, or buying a meal plan on the hospital dining rooms. Ask at the nursing station about local restaurants that deliver and buy a gift certificate to that restaurant. 

5. Consider the gift of time. Visiting for 15 to 30 minutes is great, but by day three I wanted a shower and she still didn't want to be alone. Offer to come for an hour or two and sit with the patient,so the family member can go home and take a shower. Or take one there and then read a book in a nearby waiting room. Tell the family member you are coming so they can leave the room if they want. 

6. Think outside the box. One of my favorite things a friend did was send my girls new pajamas. She said they should recuperate in something soft, warm and new. So much more practical than the traditional stuffed animals. 

7. If the treatments are expensive, their health insurance isn't the greatest, or they are taking time off from work, consider a fundraising event. Fundabilities.com in my area is a local online fundraising source. There are lots of them. My friend set one up for me (with my permission), then sent me all the links so the money went into my bank account. It saved me from worrying about the time I was missing from work.

I cannot emphasize the fundabilities  account. Not only did I have the time in the hospital, but all the followup appts. As it stands right now, Brain Cyst Child is better, but in the last year we were in PICU on an overnight hold twice more due to mild headaches that didn't respond to medication, we had probably 15 followup appointments and we also discovered she has tonsil stones. She will be seeing an ENT soon to get those removed.Gall Bladder Girl has also had repeated visits to gastroenterologists because while her gall bladder wasn't functioning, that did not turn out to be the  only source of her pain and bowel difficulties. We are still on the journey to figure out what sends her system into periodic spasms. 

So here I am 1 year and 1 day from the day my youngest had her cyst removed. We survived this year. We pulled together as a family. We had scary miserable days. We had angry jittery days. We had days of amazing family harmony. Appreciate your life. Your kids. Your Health. 

Over the next few weeks, I am going to write about things you need to know to stay healthy in 2017. Here's to hoping my kids and I can do so too.